many post are 'friends only' so maybe you might get a profile and be a friend?

This is super random, but I wonder if all this "size matters" talk is misguided. Wouldn't it make more sense for girth to outweigh length? at least a little bit? A fat cobra vs. a dipstick--who do you think should win??

I'm bored.

My job starts monday.

I got a new phone.

I want to live in a smaller city, or at least a less crowded part of town. I miss the suburbs.

yepp, still bored.

If I ever ask myself: Where was I in the summer of 2009? I can come back here and look it up.

I was in Ocean City, Lynchburg, Appomatox, and Richmond. All in about a week and a half.

I drove up to grandma's last Monday with Brad. At the last minute I decided bringing Sully and Mel would be too much going on for grandma. A little low key beach and sun seemed more appealing to me anyway. Besides,... Sully would've been bored without his Xbox and too broke to actually have fun up there. He was kinda hoping he didn't go. lol.

I saw dad the Thursday before all of this. We met up after my middle school match outside Richmond and stayed at Uno's drinking and talking about the usual until the place closed on us at 11. He also gave me the surf fishing poles and, using the dust on the back of his Ford, drew a quick lesson on how to rig the lines.

I talked Brad into going fishing on Wed. An hour and a half after me and Brad got the beach, an old redneck wearing a Harley Davidson vest took his cig out of his mouth and asked, "You catch anything yet?" To which I replied, "Well, we haven't cast yet." After all that time, I had finally rigged both poles and baited one of them. lol.
The guy held out his hand and said "Let me do that for ya." And he did.

Another hour and a half went by. I got through one beer. And three couples walked by us, each time the guy asked, "You catchin anything?"

I caught a little sun, which was fine with me. My back is almost a solid colors now. My legs? Well, that's still another story.

And the next time I want to go to the beach, I'm going straight to Assateague. No hotels, no crowed beach, no civilization except a restroom and a shower station. My kind of beach.

Grandma took us out to dinner to Captain's galley for some crabcakes. And she kinda complained a lot about how we never got up before 11am. She's doin alright though. Not as good as she used to but hell she's 82 now? and she's still doing pretty darn well.

I left for Lynchburg on Saturday, ate a free dinner at rachel's rehersal dinner, followed by Bdubs with the bridal party and her friends from out of town, then spent the night at Wendy's watching Twilight. (Really dumb movie. It kinda upsets me that it's so BIG because it was really quite terrible and predictable.) The wedding was on Sunday night, outdoors, at Glencliff Manor. To spare myself the chore of typing all about it, I'll just say it was pretty awesome. Fancy, but relaxed. They chose a song from Ocean's 11 for the Groom's party walk out, and "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge for the Bridal party walk out. and "Walking on Sunshine" as the newly weds walked down the isle together and the bridal party all danced their way back behind them. I swear, everyone I met was so awesome. It's a shame none of them live in Richmond. In 24 hours I made really good friends with almost the entire bridal party and her friends. lol. Marisa from Canada is my hero!

Monday I drove out to Appomattox to see the trailer Heather and Tyler are movin into. Not too shabby! And about 4pm we all drove over to Heather's parents for a memorial day cook out. We played volleyball for 2 straight hours. I'm pretty sure I tore a muscle in my arm. That ball hurts!

I'm searchiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn for a house w Corey, Stephan, and Alyssa. and it's annoying work.

That is all.

"And you, naive sheep: you bleat and follow a God who is going to eat you... And you, son of Levi: quack, God-peddler who sells the Lord by the ounce, innkeeper who stands men God as a drink so that they will become tipsy and open their purses to you and their hearts - you rascal of rascals! ...And you, malicious, fanatical, headstrong ascetic: you look at your own face and manufacture a God who is malicious, fanatical, and headstrong. Then you prostrate yourself and worship him because he resembles you."

- Judas Iscariot, The Last Temptation of Christ by Nikos Kazantzakis

So I just realized that my Twitter hasn't updated in a few days. But that's not from a lack of texting. I've actually been making notes all week to myself with it, but it's not posting. This is VERY frustrating... cause I had a lot of thoughts and no pen and paper in arms length (cause the extra effort to get something out of my glove box just wasn't motivating.)
Artistic notes, notes about Daniel's wedding and dinner table conversation, and depressing but super awesome lyrics i wrote to myself on the drive from lynchburg back to richmond. Saturday was pretty flippin sweet. Daniel's all grown up and married. Weird. Sunday blew pineapple chunks for reasons that started in blacksburg, multiplied in lynchburg, and bubbled away in richmond. I didn't know I could down an entire 12 pack. All grown up now, aren't i? I still confuse myself. But the night (morning, technically) ended pretty damn awesome. So much so that i didn't mind working Subway in the morning.

I sit and flirt with the theory that our (or at least my) unconscious mind is a stray dog, sneaky and ugly, built for survival and instant gratification, guilty of all seven deadly sins, and despises everything that is actually best for us. I imagine this would be the picture painted for a dog named Addiction. It is such a strange concept in itself. It's a strange idea to understand in such a modern world and in such sophisticated beings who walk up-right and cure diseases.

Oh, btw, the week re-cap: This past week was spring break. The 7th and 8th, my soccer games were canceled from the foot of snow the week before. I drove to Lynchburg Monday and Tuesday, played disc golf with Brad and hung out with my brother. Followed by a Wed morning doctor's apt in Richmond and two evenings of soccer refereeing. Subway was the furthest thing from me and it was beautiful. Drove up to roanoke on Friday and saw my sister for the first time in a long long while, and it was fun. Saturday was Daniel's wedding. and Sunday my games in Richmond were canceled due to rain (boy Jeff Cup---always rains. 3 years in a row now) but my car got towed from Brandon's apt complex. BAM! $150.

Brad brought back that bike his parents said I could have. I rode it to class today, and when i locked the lock my key broke. So now it's stuck out on Grace St and I'm paranoid I'll go back for it tomorrow and the seat or wheel will be gone. It's a nice bike! And how the hell am I going to get the lock off???
I tried to super glue the key back together and almost glued my fingers together. Luckily I avoided that, but I still got glue all over my fingers.

I have a paper due tomorrow. I haven't started it. Bad me.

i feel so full of important thoughts. reflections on life and knowledge, on personality. but i'm not a writer or a philosopher, so i can't quite put any of it into words that do it justice. what a poop.

maybe spontaneous action potentials in my brain are interfering with my ability to create complete detailed thoughts. maybe my brain is just a bunch of neural noise and everything i do is by accident.
and no i'm not drunk.

i had my rad sci interview on friday. it went really well. :) i really think i'm going to get one of those 16 slots... out of 40-some applicants...

subway still sucks. soccer's started, and i'm enjoying it so far. i'm sick of studying. i suck at time management. and i still need to do my taxes.

I don't know how i feel about this song... i think i like it.
kinda relaxing.

Ho hum. don't feel like typing. that's really the only reason i haven't said anything on here recently. but i guess i will for the moment, till i get bored.

-

I straightup asked Mr. Kang (my money-loving Bangladeshi boss at Subway) for a raise. At the time i was making 6.75, but I pulled him aside and said, "We need to talk about finances. I need a raise. I want 7.50"
He said, "Ok Ok, we'll talk, we'll do something. we'll do something. hurry, customer waiting. make sub, ok eh?"
On Monday, he hands me my check, smiling, and says, "here. open it. make you very happy. very good. you'll like, eh? enjoy."
It said 7.50.
It was strange too, because he was smiling and laughing and joking with me for the first time, almost like he somewhat respects me.

After I got home, i looked at my time time clock receipts and compared it to my check... He cut 2 hours off!
Bastards.

-

The President's Cup tournament was this past weekend at Warhill Park in Williamsburg. I had 5 games total, but they were all Saturday games. I now know another meaning of the phrase "acute death syndrome"... 2 out of the 5 were good games. And I made $160. Cash monies makes a college kid happy, it's tru. Then i stopped by to see Laura and drink warm Shock Top (darn good when warm, hella good when cold) and talk about the past, among other things. Good talk good talk. We need to hang out more often, chica!

-

I'm in love with real food. haha. no really. I bought the book "The World's Healthiest Foods" by George Mateljan, and i'm following it like it's a bible. funny... never really paid this much attention to the real bible. Real food tastes so much more amazing than fast food or most restaurant food. Best tuna and salads i've ever eaten.

-

I've been on a spending spree since I got my tuition refund check back: Put a new muffler on my car (not obnoxious anymore! yay!), bought some books (the one listed above, another for nutrition class), bought Paint Shop Pro Ultimate 2X (and love it so far), expensive food from Ellwood Tompsons (that $4.50 tub of 7 Stars Farm vanilla yogurt is so amazing!), a gig of memory for my desktop, and random household gadgets and other things.

-

I "volunteer" at CJW in the MRI room every Friday morning and sit on my butt chatting with two old guys, Lou and Frank. sometimes i retrieve a patient from the waiting room, but really all i do is chat. it'll look good on my MCV application and interview, and i'm hoping to eventually get 1000 hours and get a scholarship from them. Frank's laughably known as my "sweet n low" daddy. so NO i don't have a sugar daddy. lol. sometimes we go grab a bite to eat or a coffee on monday nights. Just another nice person who's adopted me. i seem to do that to people. he's good at sarcasm, and sometimes i'm witty. and i think he'll help me get a scooter or a motorcycle, which is cool.

-

I love how things are changing for the better. I love the people I know. I love the way they treat me. I feel quite content in this context. Personal battles are usually contrary, but when I'm in my element, life is a very real manifestation of happiness.

-

I'm becoming quite delusional about how i picture the future. my "realistic" world prediction is a technicolor theater of doom, but my daydreams about my personal life are full of sunshine and clean open spaces.

-

This is my new favorite song.

Politics piss me off... What ever happened to 'Professionalism'? Or at least second chances? 10:47 AM yesterday from txt

Th 4 F's of motivation: fleeing, feeding, fighting, and sexual behavior. ...Lol some textbooks kno how to joke. 9:48 AM yesterday from txt

I'm painfully aware of my weaknesses, so much that it discourages instead of motivates 12:41 AM yesterday from txt

I think th cats in my alley are mating. 11:28 PM Feb 4th from txt

industrial mass production of animals for grocerey stores makes concentration camps look like child's play 8:23 AM Feb 3rd from txt

I just got home n i feel like a dead fish dissolvin in raw sewage.... With a cold. I'm goin to pass out n drown standing up in my shower... 9:31 PM Feb 1st from txt

I hate people who love money. 7:59 PM Feb 1st from txt

i wonder if there's a science to fingernail clipping to make sure it lands in the trash can every time... cause i always miss 11:45 PM Jan 30th from web

VCU office workers are RETARDED. they're good at transferring the phonecall, but nobody wants to answer questions! 4 transfers? really? 1:15 PM Jan 29th from web

....there's a certain level of roaches allowed in processed foods. Thanks FDA. 8:00 AM Jan 29th from txt

apparently i'm cooler than i give myself credit

So I managed to drag my ass out of bed this morning for my 8am class... the teacher is spunky and wacko, thank god. she was saying, "give me any review you want on ratemyproffessor as long as we give me some chili peppers, cause i'm getting to that age. i need those chili peppers!"

on my right is a super-excited 40-yr old introducing himself to everyone, and on my left is some brunette chick looking admiringly as Ms. Reid saying "i've had her before. she's really easy." and then there's me, drawing chicken-doodles on my paper with my eyes closed and my head nodded, tryin not to fall asleep. except that the 40-yr old keeps wakin me up:
the teacher "now why do you think i set it up like that?"
old guy "because you want.. you want us. because you want us to learn, darn she can't hear me, oh, because you want us to learn!"
the teacher "exactly..."

"Disdain hath power to kill, and patience dies
Slain by suspicion, be it false or true;
And deadly is the force of jealousy;
Long absence makes of life a dreary void;
No hope of happiness can give repose
To him that ever fears to be forgot;
And death, inevitable, waits in hall.
But I, by some strange miracle, live on
A prey to absence, jealousy, disdain;
Racked by suspicion as by certainty;
Forgotten, left to feed my flame alone.
And while I suffer thus, there comes no ray
Of hope to gladden me athwart the gloom;
Nor do I look for it in my despair;
But rather clinging to a cureless woe,
All hope do I abjure for evermore."
- Don Quixote


"Emotions, in my experience, aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in 'sadness,' 'joy,' or 'regret.' Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feelings. I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, 'the happiness that attends disaster.' Or: 'the disappointment of sleeping with one's fantasy.' I'd like to show how 'intimations of morality brought on by aging family members' connects with 'the hatred of mirrors that begins in middle age.' I'd like to have a word for 'the sadness inspired by failing restaurants' as well as for 'the excitement of getting a room with a minibar."
Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides

I want to play "I Spy" with the man in the moon:
Him: "I spy something big and blue"
Me: "the earth?"
Him: "oh shit yea um ok... i spy something big and green,..with a lot of blue..."


In reality, we're all just a bunch of Sims characters.


I really do want to meet the chicken that crossed the road. and i really do want to climb the tree of knowledge.


And I want my grave to be an inviting place for people to relax and drink. i want my headstone to be in the shape of a gazebo overlooking a river.


As "mater-o-fact" as possible:
If you give blood before you slit your wrist, do you die faster?

This is what Lianna said earlier today:
"So I went to the dentist yesterday morning, and then I had my appointment with my gynecologist and, you know, that's just too much in-mouth, in-vagina for one day."

I have a heart-shaped hole in my chest.
and a beer-shaped hole in my stomach.

I would like to meet the Principle of Reciprocity.

if i ever conquered the world, i'd rule from a raised clawfoot jacuzzi.


Everyone should read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
to paraphrase:
I have enough patience and the right drugs, i'm going to glue string to the backs of flies and then let them loose in people's houses. "Why the string?" you'd ask. I'd say, "Because then they're easier to catch."
and I'll take them for walks. Dozens at a time. who needs dogs?


Best quote i've read recently:
"When life's a bitch, make it yours!"

15:32 When the Israelites were in the wilderness they found a man gathering wood on the Sabbath day. 15:33 Those who found him gathering wood brought him to Moses and Aaron and to the whole community. 15:34 They put him in custody, because there was no clear instruction about what should be done to him.

15:35 Then the Lord said to Moses, “The man must surely be put to death; the whole community must stone him with stones outside the camp.” 15:36 So the whole community took him outside the camp and stoned him to death, just as the Lord commanded Moses.



Statistics show that since the Lord doesn't condone killing anymore 364,522,568,201,077 lives have been spared, however 6,055,180 have been killed by people who listened to the voices in their head.

And Christian lore explains that this woodgatherer is indeed the curious "Man in the Moon." See what happens when you pick up sticks on the wrong day of the week?? Become Christian OR ELSE!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_in_the_moon

There's lots of goodies here, but please, don't be greedy! Take only what you need.
This is just a bunch of stuff I've accumulated over the years that I no longer need and are now up for grabs.

---First come first serve!!

FREE STUFF:

Large pile of bullshit
Delusions
Criticism
Insomnia
Worries, doubts, and fears
Gravity
10 Shitloads
Bad luck
Homemade spaceship
Air guitar
Chills, the willies, and the heebee-jeebies
Prayers
Hope
Responsibility
A bag of mistakes and regrets
Pick-up lines
Feng Shui
Family traditions
Free will and divine intervention
Bread

i guess i'll keep my eyes open for once at this time of day and watch god spill his expansive, generic light over my life.
i'd ask him questions but he's busy making light and shit.

you know, i really think it would've been more worthwhile to watch the sun rise on new years day than to recover from the selfish gorging of alcohol and desperate attempts to get shwasted.

not that i was desperate, but doesn't that seem like the goal? to be one step ahead of the new year? to greet a bright new day by blacking out?

it's an oxymoron.

find me an unthinkable thought.
find me nirvana.
find me a tiny place within myself that belongs to someone other than me.
find me something that had more meaning than this.

“ Saying ‘I notice you’re a nerd’ is like saying, ‘Hey, I notice that you’d rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you’d rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?’ In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even ‘lame’ is kind of lame. Saying ‘You’re lame’ is like saying ‘You walk with a limp.’ Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he’s done all right for himself. „

So both numbers I have for Ty are "temporarily not in service." What the hell? This happens way too often.

I'm leaving for Lynchvegas in a few hours after running some errands. I need to fill out a maintenance form because a small pane in the top bathroom window 'randomly' cracked and fell out. And then mail out my textbook that sold on Amazon. And then of course the laundry, the packing, and the showering.

I accidentally ran four miles yesterday. It was a random urge, and I was too lazy to fight the urge. So I mapped out 3 miles on google maps: run to monument ave, turn left, then turn around at Blvd. But since it was dark outside and I was super distracted I completely missed Blvd. After a while I noticed a bridge ahead of me ---wait a minute! So apparently I ran all the way to 195 and back. Oops. It felt good though.
And I shouldn't of had that snack before going out... Oh well.

So my rent check for Jan is in, my utilities check is waiting for brendan on the fridge, my soccer stuff is mailed in, my credit cards are just chillin unpaid, and my stress level is almost back to 0. Hell yea I'm ready for the new year.

One of the queerest sensations is when all the blood in a particular part of your body stops moving. When the arteries are still workin hard, but the veins are on strike. And all the blood collects and pools until you wake up in the middle of the night and all you have is a over-sized, warm, immovable purple trunk instead of an arm.

Or in the lesser extreme case of "pins and needles" when everything tingles in such an unusual way that it almost feels like being tickled with a steak knife. Almost.

And there's also when you smack a door with the palm of your hand so hard the sensation is not unlike having it fractured and sewn back together all within 8 seconds. Which sounds bad unless you have weak wrists, in which case you could shatter yourself like glass if punching something more solid than you, but that limits your punching bag to things like pillows, imaginary friends, and jello.

But if you are looking for very cheap thrills, try pissing someone off when they're in a room with nothing in it. No furniture, no things to throw, and no jello. This is more than likely the real missing link between humans and apes... they jump around the exact same way.